Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Missions 2014!

Hey guys! So this isn't our typical blog post- I wanted to put all of the information about mission trips in one place so that people could read it and get super excited!

We have two Mission trip opportunities this Spring. Wesley is doing a Spring Break trip this year (March 1-8), and Wesley students have been invited to join Wellspring UMC for their weekend Family Mission Trip (February 21-22).

Both trips primarily construction based, but don't worry! If you have never been on a mission trip or built anything so much as a bird house, that's okay! We are all volunteers and no one expects any of us to be professionals. Both trips will have professionals on site. These trips are more than labor- they are relational, fun, and a learning experience for all. It is amazing what can happen when people come together in God's love.

*If you are unsure if you can come on any of these trips because of cost, let us know, we work something out. Anyone who wants to go can go!

Spring Break Trip: Swan Quarter, North Carolina
Disaster Response: Hurricane Relief!

We are planning to drive to Swan Quarter, NC, to help out with Hurricane Relief from several hurricanes that have afflicted the area (Isaac and Irene) by helping with home repairs and construction of new homes for those who lost their homes entirely. We will be staying in a school in the area.

Bunk Area
I think this kind of work is very important because hurricanes and natural disasters often make the news for a few months, but then are forgotten while families in the area are still feeling the affects years later. I think the biggest part of going to an afflicted area, more than the actual labor, is letting these people know that we still remember and we are here to help.

Cost: $150 + cost of food
Deadline to sign up: Feb 9, midnight

If you are not sure, but you are interested, go ahead and put your name on the list so we have an idea of possible group size.

Here I have copy and pasted the information Pastor Edward sent me about the Wellspring trip:
(Pastor Edward told me he is still unsure about the cost of this trip)

"A Family Mission Experience

A Wellspring UMC Family Mission trip is set for February 21-22, 2014. Wellspring will
team with participants from the Wesley Foundation.

We will leave on Friday evening from Wellspring giving folks time to get home from
work drive an hour to the Pathways Ministries site in Petersburg, Virginia. On Friday
evening, we will get settled in, learn about Petersburg and Pathways, meet some
participants in the Pathways program, eat dinner, and worship.

We will spend the night in the Pathways dormitories.

On Saturday morning, we will be joined by a group of volunteers from Duncan Memorial
(led by Pastor David Hindman), and we be divided for our work assignments.
One work option will be a house demolition project in progress. Pathways plans to gut
the house and then rehab it as a residence for a disabled veteran. The work will require
many laborers (skilled and unskilled) doing debris removal and everyone will get dirty.
A second work option will require more skilled folks who will remain at the Pathways
facility. These folks will make repairs to the dormitory showers, drop a ceiling in the
kitchen, install projectors in the classrooms, and put in ceiling fans.

A third lunch option will be support for the volunteers (serving refreshments, making
lunch, etc.)

We will return to Williamsburg in the late afternoon on Saturday.
Pathways Ministries is an incorporated, 501(c)3 institution serving human needs in
Petersburg. It is directed by two United Methodist Pastors, Dwala Ferrell and Mike
Watts. I met Mike and Dwala through the work of Holy Rollers, a group of bicycle
enthusiasts to ride to Annual Conference every year raising money for, and awareness
of, the Bishop’s Conference Offering. Mike and Dwala ride have pedaled their awesome
tandem bicycle to the 220 miles to Conference every year for the past five years.
Pathways began in 1995 as Petersburg Urban Ministries, an inter-faith community
development corporation, hoping to address three broad areas of concern in Petersburg:
housing, education, and health.

Reality in Petersburg

• has the highest child poverty rate of any city in Virginia with 41.4% of its
children living below the poverty level

• 25.2% of all residents in Petersburg, or 8,015 people live in poverty, which is up a
startling 37.6% from 2000

• The median household income is $32,435, only 54% of the state median, and
down 9% from the 2000 census

• 31% of households in Petersburg are single-parent families [children in married-
couple households are far less likely to experience poverty (5%) than children in single-
parent households (25%)]

• 79% of the residents of Petersburg are African American (33% of black children
in America live in poverty, as compared to 10% for white children)

• Poverty impacts crime: In 2008, the crime rate in Petersburg was three times that
of the national average

• Poverty impacts nutrition: 34% of adults and 17% of preschool aged children in
Petersburg are obese

Please sign up for the events on the clip boards in worship at Wellspring, or call Pastor
Edward at 757 817-2897 on his cell phone."

If you are interested in either trip, sign your name in the appropriate spread sheet so we can begin to gage interest! 

This link has two spreadsheets, the titles are shown on the bottom tabs.

You can also sign up on the sheets on the bulletin board in the fellowship hall!

That is all!


Sunday, December 1, 2013

Idiot Intolerant

EGADS!! I forgot to blog yesterday!! I remembered this grievous oversight right as I was about to fall asleep last night, as I do with most important things.

In my defense, I’d spent the day driving through Ohio, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, and then West Virginia again because “that’s just how the state’s built,” according to my dad. All of my available brain storage was devoted to trying to figure out how that worked, unfortunately leaving no room for things like Erin, remember you have to blog for Wesley today.

Or I just forgot. Pick whichever one appeals to you more, bearing in mind that my self-esteem is contingent upon your choosing the first one.

So, how are you on this lovely Sunday morning? My days of the week are also all messed up since I haven’t had classes to tell me how I should think and/or feel on any given day since Monday.

My day started early and cold, since my parents neglected to tell me that they’d closed the vent in my room in my absence (if you pity me enough, maybe you’ll forget that I forgot to blog yesterday).

Then the train back to Williamsburg was almost half an hour late, so we had to make awkward small talk with a CNU parent who kept asking me about W&M sports, the only one of which I’m familiar with is library marathoning.

Or trying to out-big-word each other in conversation (lugubrious). Or playing the Whose-Resume-Is-Bigger game (So you’ve got three leadership positions, a 3.8 GPA, two foreign languages under your belt, and you divide your spare time between two different service organizations, one of which you co-founded? Well…Jesus loves me the mostest! Take that.)

I should stop.

Which brings me to where I am now, on the train back to Williamsburg, at the very back end of the car, surrounded by sleeping and texting people alike, writing this post, trying to figure out how loud I can make the volume through my headphones without waking up the woman next to me.

This morning on the way to the train station, we somehow ended up on a radio station where a guy was talking about what a shame it is that secularism is undermining the Christianity of the “global North America”. How it’s just so darn tragic that we can’t have the 10 Commandments in public places, or put Nativity scenes up anymore.

What about the Islamic “movement”? It’s spreading across northern Africa and Pakistan (which he mispronounced), and Christians there are in “dire straits”.

And the secularism! Have we mentioned the horrors of secularism?

At that point, I took out my headphones so that I wouldn’t have to listen to him anymore.

As if America’s always been a poster child for religious tolerance, as if we Christians always respect the rights of other religions to practice their own traditions in a non-condemnatory way.

As if “secularism” is the only reason the Church is losing members. What about intolerance? What about outdated ways of doing things? What about only focusing on passages of the Bible that encourage punishment and ostracism instead of love and redemption?

Also, since when have we not been able to put up Nativity scenes? There are at least three in my subdivision alone, and that’s only on the streets I regularly go down. Plus, the 10 Commandments are in every Bible, which, thanks to the Gideons, is in every hotel. Is that not public enough for you?

What version of the Bible has this guy been reading? Who does this yahoo think he is?

“Yahoo” belongs to the upper echelon of Grasse insults along with “moron” and “butthead”. Someone isn’t going the speed limit? Yahoo. Someone made a poor decision? Yahoo. Any elected government official? Yahoo.

“Idiot,” however is the usual term for just about anybody who appears to be acting in a dissatisfactory way that demonstrates that they are clearly of subpar intelligence (the elder Grasses are the standard).

Texting while driving? Idiot. People who eat bacon? Idiots. You accidentally spoiled a surprise Christmas gift in your twelve year-old ignorance? Idiot. Any elected government official? Idiot.

All my mom’s side has is “icky” or “poopy”. People on the Internet? Icky. People on the news? Icky. People who are uncooperative? Poopy. People who pick their noses? Icky. People who are intolerant of others? Icky/poopy. Any elected government official? Poopy yahoos who are also icky.

“Why are you being so poopy?” my mom will ask. “You’re an idiot,” my dad will say. Happy Birthday, we love you!*

My dad responded to my headphone insertion with “Come on! You’re studying religious studies! You’ve only heard one snippet of what he’s saying, and he could be right. You’ve got to learn how to listen objectively!”

Translation: Quit being so sensitive, you yahoo! He’s got just as much right to voice his opinion as you do!

Which is true. Unfortunately.

It doesn’t really seem fair if I accuse someone else of being intolerant, and then refuse to listen to what they have to say. This also doesn’t mean that I have to like or agree with them, but maybe I should try practicing the same golden rule that I always accuse them of forgetting, for myself.

Maybe I should get better at remembering that I’m not always right, and ask God (oh, right, Him) to help see people through His eyes instead of my own.

My lenses only come in BIGOT or IGNORANT or POOPY ICKY MORON IDIOT MEANIE-FACE (unless you happen to agree with me, in which case you get HORCRUX), but He only sees dearly beloved children, which is good, since I’m usually also pretty guilty of being a bigoted ignorant poopy icky moron idiot meanie-face more often than not.

So, radio host, I apologize for not hearing you out all of the way. I didn’t really agree with what you were saying, but I also realize that I heard it out of context, and didn’t bother to learn more.

That was rude, even though you couldn’t see me. I pray that you would have a wonderful rest of the day, and that God would make your heart so overflowing with His love that you can’t help but share it with others.

I also pray that both of us would always remember the value of approaching things from different angles, and allow God’s unconditional love to drive our actions, instead of our own prejudices and judgments.


*My parents have never actually written than in a birthday card, and make sure to inform me that they do in fact find me to be an acceptable offspring on a regular basis.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Thanksgiving (and a bonus vlog!)

The title's not really clever at all, but hey, I'm burnt out and ready for break. Yes folks, tomorrow is the first official day of Thanksgiving break, and I'd like to take this blog post that I know is a day late to say a few things that I am thankful for.

First, I am thankful for God's grace. This past year has been a very interesting one, especially these past few weeks, and he has been there with me every moment of it to keep me from losing my head. Even if I just needed someone to yell at, God has been there and has been so, so good to me. As Psalm 95:2-3 says, "Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song. For the Lord is the great God, the great King above all gods." More on the music and song thing later.

The rest I think can be summed up in a list:

2. Coke Zero My family
3. Coke Zero My friends
4. Coke Zero

Of course, these aren't all of the things that I'm thankful for, but if I try to list everything, I'd get paranoid that I forgot something and so I'd just keep adding to it and that's not going to do anyone any good.

So back to the music and song thing from earlier, a discussion in Sociology yesterday led me to make the following video. It really has nothing to do with Thanksgiving, but I have nothing else to do right now, and I did tell you at the beginning of all of this (way back in my first post) that I wanted to make y'all laugh, so dear readers, I give you this.

Have a wonderful and happy Thanksgiving!

-Prezzie Marni, out

P.S. My Zoology T.A. would like for all of you to know that the actual name for the wishbone in a turkey is the furcula. Use this knowledge wisely.

Saturday, November 23, 2013

This Is Just....Something

Huzzah! My 100 posts of solitude have been broken at last!

Rejoice, I say! Rejoice! Marni has returned! YAC will rise again! Everything is falling out of my burrito!

What does it mean to be innocent?

Not innocent in the no-officer-I-definitely-was-not-attempting-to-activate-my-hyper-drive-in-a-school-zone sense of the word, but in the mommy-what-does-that-word-mean sense.

What's the difference between innocence and ignorance and just being naive?

I have a friend who refuses to acknowledge that Jack and Rose have sex in Titanic, and doesn't seem to think that other people do either.

I have another friend who can make an innuendo out of anything.

I went out to dinner with a group of friends from high school over the summer, and all they talked about was either being drunk/getting drunk/their preferred alcoholic beverages.

I don't like watching excessive make-out/sex/nudity scenes in movies because it makes me uncomfortable on several levels.

I don't understand why you wouldn't just ask someone to marry you if you're so sure that you want to live with them.

I don't understand how some people can say that they're fine with gay people, but don't think they should be able to get married or preach.

I understand why some people think abortion is wrong, but I don't understand why women shouldn't be able to choose what does and doesn't happen to their own bodies.

I don't like it when people swear. This doesn't mean that I never do, but I still don't like the sound of it.

I understand why people have sex before they're married. I don't understand why there's such a stigma surrounding people who would rather wait.

I've never smoked or had alcohol in my life, and I have no desire to do either. I've known people who've ruined their health with cigarettes, and I don't understand why you should have to drink something that impairs your judgment in order to have fun.

I've also never been kissed. I've also never really met anyone that I've desperately wanted to kiss though. Yet.

Does this make me innocent? A prude? Holier-than-thou? No fun? All of the above?

Or does it make me the opposite? Are these things, which are, when you get right down to it, only my opinions, enough to make a good or bad person?

Is innocence the same thing as purity? What's the difference between being innocent, and just being stubborn?

Is innocence something you can fake? Is it something you can fake your way into believing?

I really don't have any answers, but I do have all of these questions.

You know what another tricky thing about innocence is? It's all a total judgment call.

You craft your own definition, and then find that it's really hard not to positively and negatively sort people based on this set of standards.

The friend I mentioned earlier recoiled in horror when she saw that I was reading a chapter for psychology that included the section, "The Psychology of Sex".

I have a neighbor who refused to tell her daughter the word for "vagina" until she was 8 or 9 years old, and who freaked out when another neighbor started changing her male child's diaper in front of said daughter.

I had a picture on my blog of a chocolate penis lollipop that I got from a gay pride festival, and my aunt told me that I should take down the picture of the "chocolate sucker".

In high school, I sent a video to my friend via Facebook about music reviews, the thumbnail for which was a scantily clad Nicole Scherzinger. You didn't see anything past her clavicle, but another friend sent me a message asking me to kindly stop posting videos of naked women to other people's walls.

It's easy to want to look at people like that and scream, "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"

That isn't what it means at all! That's not what I'm trying to say/am saying! How could you possibly interpret it in that way? Do you live in a different world? How does someone like you make it through life so repressed?

I'm innocent, don't you see?! Both of your judgement and of any impurity! Don't you think the same way that I do?

And not everybody does. And not everybody will.

And my way might not actually be right. Maybe theirs isn't either. Maybe we have yet to find that the right way is.

Maybe we should just stick to love.

Jason Mraz has a really cool song called "Love For a Child," which I like because it seems to imply that love is the main lens through which a kid sees the world, and innocence is lost whenever those love-colored glasses stop working, or their prescription isn't updated often enough.

Maybe there's a way for us all to be innocent once again if we'd replace our judgement with love.

Maybe I'm just rambling on about half-baked thoughts. If you've made it this far, kudos to you! If you have any thoughts on these half-baked creations of mine, let me know.

Until next time, I leave you with a verse and a song.

The verse is from 2 Corinthians 5:17 and 21: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."

The song is the aforementioned one by Jason Mraz.

Monday, November 18, 2013

If You're Happy and You Know It, Read This Post

That title probably won't have anything to do with what I'm about to write, but here goes nothing.

My apologies, dear readers, for not being around much. I know what you're all thinking; YAC runs on a calendar year, Marni, so soon you will be the artist formerly known as Prezzie Marni, and maybe we'll get a new president who can actually remember to blog once a week. Well, I have news for you, friend:




Don't stare at it for too long

That's right, kiddos: at our November 10th SNP, we elected new officers, and guess who got elected to a second term? This kid! Y'all gonna be stuck with me for another year.

Okay, Marni, that's fine and dandy, but who else was elected? Well, we will unfortunately be saying goodbye to half of YAC and fortunately be welcoming 3 new, awesome YAC members! We'll miss Rachel, Cara, and Erin. Yes, that's right, our most prolific blogger will be leaving YAC (although maybe we can convince her and the others to blog occasionally).

Please give a warm welcome to our new YAC members, Victoria Gum (Devotions), Carolyn Hartley (Fellowship), and Dominique Rowinski (Fellowship)! Andrew and I will be staying in our current positions, while Jannette is moving from Fellowship to Discipleship.

To get y'all caught up on the rest of our Wesley happenings, last night's SNP was Nostalgia Night, during which we made dirt pudding and watched campy 90s/early 00s music videos. We also wore pajamas, and you can enjoy mine below (they literally make my dreams come true).

Yes, that is a sock monkey onesie. Be jealous.

So, yeah. I do plan to be more active in the coming year, so if I forget to blog, someone please bug me until I do so. That's all I've got for now; hopefully next week I'll have something of real substance to give you.

Until next time,
Prezzie Marni, out

P.S. I am not a crook!

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Read About My Day

So I looked up at the clock after finishing my homework (for the night) two minutes ago only to discover that my opportunity to blog on Saturday had passed, which I guess means that I technically can't brag about having posted for three weeks in a row.

This time.

So, here's what I did yesterday, since I can no longer talk about it in the present tense. This time.

As the semester has about 2.5 weeks left in it, any and every professor is attempting to cram as much material into the last few 50 minutes blocks we have together as humanly possible.

This is why I have two papers due between now and next Tuesday, one of which I still need to do substantially more research for (although I have four sources out of the 6-12 that are required, so I'm not in too bad of shape), a third midterm to contend with, and a 200 page book to read before Tuesday (that's one's my bad for not reading the syllabus correctly, but seriously, I AM THE VICTIM HERE).

Nobody else seems to take this view, for some reason. I've been accused of "always doing work" or "putting academics above socializing" and other nonsense like that. 

I'm tragically misunderstood.

So yesterday I woke up at the ungodly hour of 8 to hang out with some extremely godly people at the Wesley Foundation Board meeting, where I resisted the overwhelming urge to Facebook stalk for the entire two hours we spent discussing the budget and upcoming YAC programs and our scheme for world domination.

Then I spent the afternoon immersed in racism and tragic mulatto stereotypes for my class on the Harlem Renaissance, which slightly destroyed my faith in humanity and crippled my soul.

THEN I trekked across campus to bake cookies with my IV small group. It was initially just my co-leader and our mentor holding a hostile takeover of a dorm kitchen (there really isn't much to conquer), since the smell of baking cookies attracts absolutely NO ONE.

You know that scene in Jesus Christ Superstar, where all of the lepers seem to materialize out of nowhere when Jesus walks by?

One girl literally skidded into the kitchen and said with the utmost seriousness, "I HEARD THERE WERE COOKIES." I will neither confirm nor deny that she was foaming at the mouth, nor will I confirm nor deny that that is a complete fabrication.

Eventually we were joined by our regular small groupee, plus a couple new people, which was awesome! A couple said that they would try to swing by to check out our small group in the future; numbers were exchanged, emails were given, we all went home happy.

There may have also been an impromptu salsa lesson, combined with a duet of "I Want It That Way."

Then, one-by-one, people started filtering out until it was just my friend, Hannah and I. We then proceeded to walk across campus with a plateful of extra cookies, offering them to random people we came across on the campus trails and/or people Hannah happened to know, which was everyone.

Eventually we wound up in the basement of Sadler (the main center for campus events), where Hannah recognized a YOUTUBER of all people, (his name is Josh Sundquist, and he seems pretty awesome from the few words I exchanged with him) who also just so happened to be a William and Mary alum.

And a Paralympic athlete. And a motivational speaker. Just walking around in Sadler, hanging out with some of his friends from school, like a real person. I have a feeling that he will be my next YouTube obsession, once I have time to obsess over things again.

So after Hannah had mostly stopped hyperventilating, we continued our cookie distributing mission throughout the rest of Sadler, giving one to the lady swiping meal cards ("You mean to tell me that it's not homemade?"), and then seeking out people either Hannah or I knew (Hannah knows all of the people that I know because she knows everybody, as I may have mentioned earlier) and demanding that they eat the remainder of our calories.

After running into Josh again (who knew that YouTubers actually eat?), which revived the hyperventilating, Hannah and I journeyed over to Ewell to partake in the Appalachian Music Ensemble concert. 

Hannah had never been and one of my friends was performing, so it gave me the opportunity to feel slightly cool in comparison to her, which is always good.

We met up with a couple of my other friends who were my hallmates last year, danced awkwardly the whole time (or, I did), and enjoyed everything immensely. 

Then I dragged myself back to my dorm, became one with my pajamas at the late hour of 8:55, and proceeded to rip my soul out with a rusty fork until I finished my International Politics reading. Then I finished one of the two books I have to read for Tuesday, and looked up at the clock to see that it was midnight.

And here we are.

It's hard to say where I saw God the most today. There were lots of little moments that make for one massive God poke, but isolating them almost detracts from the wonderfulness; they need to be connected with the rest of their fellow little miracles.

Buried underneath all of my layers of cynicism and sarcasm and moldy cheese, my real passions are simply to make people laugh, and to let them know that they are loved.

That's all I really want to do in life when I get right down to it, and I was able to do a lot of that today.

I was able to hang out with lots of my brothers and sisters in Christ this afternoon/evening, and share God's love with them in something as small (and somewhat greasy) as a cookie.

We told one girl who walked in without knowing that we were baking cookies that we had made them just for her, and her smile, probably influenced by our extreme cheesiness, was just....satisfying.

Getting to make people laugh with my awkward dance moves and terrible singing was wonderful, better than my sleep-addled brain can properly express at the moment.

I guess I saw God in just being able to give. To give and to love freely with only smiles for payment. It makes me wonder how many cookies God offers me on a daily basis that I just completely ignore. 

It makes me grateful that he never stops asking. 

It's now almost 1 o'clock in the morning, and I have an equally busy day to prepare for in a few hours, so I bid you adieu, dear reader!


Okay, during my quest for that adorable thing, I happened across this, and every fiber of my being obligates me to share it with you.

Now that your nightmares have been assured, I'm really going to bed.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

I Made This For You


It saddens me that this child can move her hips better than I can, among other reasons.

Today, for no other reason other than that I want to and because there have been no other challenges to my reign thus far, I have decided to write a poem for you.

Yes, you.

To ensure that your expectations are at the right level, realize that I wrote said poem sitting at my desk in the dark, eating chicken and rice soup (which I almost just spilled), in sweaty workout clothes and hair that hasn't been washed since Thursday.

Don't you wear your hair too?

Have you already forgotten what I was talking about?

That makes two of us.


Once there was this Jesus guy
Who used to hang out in the sky
Bouncing around on clouds all day
Sending love and grace our way.

Then one day God was all like, "Look at this."
"Our dear sweet world has gone amiss."
"These people don't know right from left,
And what's more, they could care less
About the love we have for them
Instead, they'd rather live in sin."

"Gosh," said Jesus. "That really sucks."
"These people whom we love so much,
The ones we made with loving care,
Formed from light and joy and air,
We know them each inside and out
Yet all they seem to do is pout
About how everything they always buy
Can never seem to satisfy."

"They're stumbling about in darkness, lost,
With complete disregard for any cost,
Can they not see our seal of love embossed?
The only option is the cross."

And then God said, "Nice one, Jesus. How did you get so poetic?"
And Jesus said, "Thanks, I've been practicing! That Holy Spirit's one heck of a muse."
And then God said, "That's my boy! What were we talking about again?"
And then Jesus replied, "Ummm, something about me dying a painful death for the sins of the world out of no motivation other than love?"
And then God nodded in agreement and said, "That sounds about right. Are you free Friday?"
And then Jesus pulled out his planner and said, "I've got all eternity. Whatever you decide is fine by me."
And then God chuckled and said, "There you go with your rhymes again!"

So Jesus came to Earth as man,
He laughed, he cried, he followed the plan
Set up by He and God to save
The world from digging its very own grave.

There are many details we do not know
Like his star sign or his favorite show
His miracles can seem a bit unreal
His mercy, his grace, his powers to heal.
His ability to love we can't understand
What would motivate this man
To give up everything, his throne, his crown,
Just to hang out with a bunch of SINNERS. (Rhyme-schmime)

He taught us joy, he brought us release
He handed out fruits of the Spirit by the piece
Freedom like his we'd never known
Maybe because all of our seeds were sown
In barren soil or rocky places
Resulting in plants emaciated.

He died a death quite undeserved
All for us, his unfaithful herd
Sheep who constantly went astray
Were told they were always loved that day.
Despite their faults, despite their sins
Despite their brokenness, and without chagrin
They were welcomed back with arms wide open
By the shepherd, under whom the reign of death was broken.

And he still lives on in us today
Loving us, changing us, lighting the way
Letting me describe him in really bad rhymes
Always welcoming me back, no matter the times
That I've doubted, or raged, or attempted to run
Far, far away from the light of the Son.
He loves me to bits, this much I know
For the Bible tells me so.

I can't end this poem with that cheesy cliche
It wouldn't be right, just NOT OKAY,
To quote what I get told at Wesley a lot
That and "Erin, just STOP."
I think they like me, I hope that they do,
Considering how often I talk about poop.
Now I'm just rambling, I've got nothing to say,
So here's a picture of my lovely face.